Heart Pondering

The ponderings of one Christ-following mom on raising preschoolers

Vision and planning in mothering October 30, 2009

Filed under: Behaviors,Mothering role,Routine — Susan @ Christian Mothering @ 10:36 pm

029v1200ecThere’s something to be said for planning.  While I’m a decent planner in general, I can’t say I’ve done a lot of planning in my mothering beyond logistical basics like readying a nursery for a newborn or packing my diaper bag the night before an outing.  And that’s fair because a lot of mothering simply is reactive.  Like – my kid learned to turn the TV on; now I have to figure out how to address it.  You deal with phases as they come.

My recent diligence kick, though, and the fruit that’s coming from it has left me thinking about planning…  And about developing a vision for building what you want to ultimately see in your kids, step by step. And since I’ve begun putting my house in order – literally and figuratively – space in my brain and our schedule is being created to envision some new things.  Things that my older children, now 2 and 4, are (or soon will be) ready for.  “The plans of the diligent lead to profit,” the Bible says, and I want to spend my time with my children profitably.  Better said: I want to be diligent to ensure that they profit – spiritually speaking – from theirs years in our home.

In that vein, I’ve begun thinking and praying through a few new ‘initiatives’ (to apply one of my oft-used consulting terms to parenting life) to begin with my kids in the coming months: (more…)

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Problem-solving by entering in October 24, 2009

Filed under: Authority & obedience,Behaviors,Mothering role — Susan @ Christian Mothering @ 11:05 pm

My two oldest kids, age two and four, do what all kids their age do: they bicker.  At times they take it a step further by intentionally aggravating and provoking one another – taking pleasure in seeing the other agitated.  A case of the sin nature at work in full force, and readily evident to their watching mother.

Every sibling set plays out its own squabbles in its own way; no two households are the same.  Most recently in our house, my oldest two wind each other up in one of two scenarios: singing songs or at the table during meal times.  Scenario A: my eldest begins singing a song he knows his younger sister dislikes, and the more she protests the more he sings.  Then she takes up singing her own song to compete and get back at him.  Both end up yelling and fighting.  Scenario B: my eldest child starts quietly tapping at the table top or making a silly noise.  The act itself is benign but he does it to aggravate his sister.  She predictably protests and cries as if being personally assaulted.  He persists.  (more…)

 

Our enemy, distraction October 21, 2009

Filed under: Culture,Mothering role — Susan @ Christian Mothering @ 1:47 pm

42-17440868It’s not news to anyone that we live in an era of interruption and distraction; reams of material have been written on this topic.  Cell phones, iPods, emails, TV, texting.  I’ve posted before on the effect the world’s noise can have on our kids and the corresponding need to help them appreciate stillness.  But what about for us?  How about this as a sub-topic: “Distraction and the At-Home Mom of Young Kids’?

I remember being a kid and feeling that child-like annoyance with at times not having my mother’s full attention when I wanted it.  She was on the phone; she was involved in something else and giving me the “uh-huh” response while she tended to a task or was focused on something else.  I remember my impatience with it and desire for her attention.  Now as the mom, I’m the one giving the distracted “uh-huh” while I do something else. (more…)

 

In praise of diligence October 12, 2009

Filed under: For moms,Household,Mothering role — Susan @ Christian Mothering @ 8:58 pm

WESTF04513The advent of our third child and my concurrent leave from outside-the-home work have brought about some changes in our household – and in my observations of it.  A new baby means more stuff – car and bouncy seats, bibs, burp cloths, etc.  And since my normal consulting To-Do list is absent, the Growing Clutter and Chaos have been more of a focal point than they otherwise would be. My annoyance is high, and so is my sense that I should do something about it.  I’m quite organized and administrative in some ways – with correspondence, budgeting, photos.  In my day-to-day household life though, not so much. 

I realized that I lacked effective structure and systems to manage my household so I asked a friend similar to me in organizational style – and whose household seems ordered – if I could learn from her.  Have her show me her systems, recipe organization (she’s a great cook whereas I’m mediocre), and generally provide some inspiration and direction.  I observed and came away with ideas and tips, but mostly I learned that she works a lot harder than I do. That’s her secret: she’s diligent. I’m not.  (more…)

 

Kids and entitlement October 2, 2009

Filed under: Materialism and entitlement — Susan @ Christian Mothering @ 3:01 am

BLD040921Following a year without TV, we got cable last month.  After weeks of heavy Netflix usage during my husband’s recovery from surgery, we decided a few months with TV would be nice during homebound New Baby Life.  My husband, an avid hunter, most enjoys the Outdoor Life Network.  Our son delights in watching hunting shows with him – they watch 15 minutes before the rest of the household wakes up – and then shooting his bow in the backyard.

The TV is visible from the landing outside his room, and when he emerges at night after lights-out ‘for a drink of water’ or ‘to use the potty’ (you know the tricks), he’ll scan the downstairs to see if it’s on.  “Daddy, you’re not watching hunting without me, are you?” he’ll call from the top of the stairs.  But this sweet request of a son desiring to bond with his dad became, in short order, a fairly directive and even commanding query.  If the Outdoor Life Network was being viewed in the house, he felt had a right to be in the room. (more…)